freezingrayne: (Reno)
...even though I just got back from spring break. I think I choked on an exam today, and I am having a lot of trouble focusing. It doesn't help that the weather has yet to warm up--we're supposed to get snow tomorrow, which almost never happens here this late into the year.

In other news, I've been playing the shit out of Dragon Age: Origins. I know I'm really into a game when I find myself thinking do I really have to go to class today? I should probably just stay home and play video games.. I haven't given into the urge, as of yet.

There's a frightenly enormous number of things to do in the game, sidequests all over the place, and I'm having a lot of fun romancing Alistair. He tends to like it when you're kind and honorable, which is good, since I always kind of default to that when I play a game with a lot of action/dialogue choices. I guess I just don't like to be mean.
freezingrayne: (Default)
Took my last exam today!

The semester is finally, finally over, and I honestly couldn't be happier to see the end of it. I've had a rough couple of months. This week has been particularly hellish, considering all of the stress of exams, and the fact that I'm going to have to switch therapists. I don't know if I can handle filling someone else in on all my issues, having to go through and unravel them again.

But on the bright side, it snowed today, and it's supposed to snow more on Sunday. If there's enough snow, maybe I'll actually go sledding. Haven't done that in years.

[personal profile] mmefrankenstein and I just watched Love, Actually, which was really, really sweet and a whole lot funnier than I expected it to be. It was sort of cool to realize that, a few years ago, I would have absolutely hated a movie like this, but can really enjoy and appreciate it now. I guess that means I've grown, or at least changed.

We've also been playing Uncharted, which I am fairly unimpressed with. I've been watching the new modern, BBC adaptation of Sherlock Holmes which I am completely impressed with. I never thought there would be a Holmes I'd like better than RDJ, but I think this one might be it.
freezingrayne: (Ezio)
Had a mental health fail last night and fell back on some bad habits, but I'm doing alright now. Gots some therapy to go to today.

In other news, nano is going well--I'm at the wordcount I should be, though I'm at that point where I look at what I have so far and make the face that Ezio is making in my icon.
freezingrayne: (Claire)
I felt like it'd been awhile since I'd last updated, but then I looked at my last journal entry and realized it was only five days ago. So. Silly me.

I'm in a funny headspace, like various parts of me are sliding off and being replaced with other parts (parts of my mind I mean. Not my body. That would be messy and I'd probably need to use Diarahan or something) that don't quite fit right yet. It feels like my worldview has been turned on its side and shaken roughly, but not in a bad way. ...Possibly in a Times of Growth and Change way? (At least that's what the tarot says) That's what college is supposed to be about, right? I mean, that's what it says on the tin.

I drove on the highway yesterday for the first time since my major depression started about a month and a half-ago, and damn did I realize how much I missed it. I understood what my roommate meant about driving zening him out. I could use a little zening right now. (Zening? Is that a word?)

Last night I finished a piece of original fiction for the first time in about four years. My computer documents are lousy with short stories that have been started but never finished, and the feeling of accomplishment that accompanied this is sort of indescribable. Even if it's really crappy right now and needs to be edited like crazy.
freezingrayne: (Amelia Pond)
So I saw a therapist and a psychiatrist on Tuesday. I now have anti-depressants and a diagnoses of being Severely Depressed (seriously, the doctor gave me this question answer and it was off the charts) which I sort of knew already, since I've been struggling with it since I was in fourteen, but there you go.

I'm also going to start seeing the therapist on campus. Hopefully, I can get some things in my head straightened out. And maybe, one day, I'll be able to look in the mirror without cringing, fail a test without wanting to kill myself, and maybe have a healthy relationship with someone. Maybe I can stop being so goddamn angry all the time.
freezingrayne: (Sebastian)
Just about to start a new semester at gorgeous, beautiful UMD. *insert eye roll*

All kidding aside, I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm all moved into my apartment now, meaning that I'm ten minutes away from school instead of an hour, which removes a lot of the stress from it. Also, most of my classes are highly relevant to my interests, so that should motivate me to do the work.

I haven't ever felt this good about school, I don't think. Things really do get better in college.
freezingrayne: (Sigmund)
Back from vacation!

First off, I want to apologize for being so much fail recently. I've been with an internet connection that wouldn’t let me check my email or upload anything (or make DW posts without refreshing the damn thing eight million times). I’ve also been highly stressed and worried about the moving to a new apartment that is about to take place.

Special thanks to [personal profile] cypher for picking up my slack where I fell down on the job with [community profile] tales_100. I will strive to be more reliable in the future! *nods nods*

Some other stuff...

Moving... )

family changes )

last but certainly not least... )

Huh. Okay. Long post. Back to kink bingo!
freezingrayne: (Guy)
Have had an exceedingly stressful week. Was looking forward to watching Doctor Who and eating ice cream.
Went to pick my sister up from our mom's house. Car broke down.

I have missed Doctor Who and have no ice cream.

Clearly, the universe hates me.
freezingrayne: (Doctor and Tardis)
This post coming to you from a rather stressed, shitty-feeling headspace. Things have been sort of crazy around here lately, what with a sick family member, my mother doing crazy antics, and the ongoing search for a place to live.

More ramblings )
freezingrayne: (Doctor and Tardis)
...Is exhausting.
We're trying to find a place closer to campus, and we found a pretty good one, but my friend is convinced that we need to look more. His dad talked to him about how the real estate agent is trying to push us into it, but I don't think we're being pushed if it's a good place. We're just being pro-active. Though, it would be nice to find a place that's a little cheaper and closer, but the lower the price gets, the shittier the place is gonna get so. We'll see.

On a completely different note, [profile] king_bingo is awesome. Almost done with my second square, and like the first one, it's ending up a completely different kink than I meant it to be in the beginning. Characters are funny like that.

two down

May. 16th, 2010 02:54 pm
freezingrayne: (Guy)
Two finals down, two to go. I feel like I basically rocked Ancient History, and Italian went pretty well too. I'm glad, since I had to wake up at 5:45 in the morning to make it to my 8:00 am final in time. Just Free Will and Physics left to do.

After that summer will have officially started and I can ease on down south to visit the lovely [personal profile] mmefrankenstein. We'll be selling art at Animazement in Raleigh, which is gonna be awesome, especially since she's made us some rocking' costumes (I'm Yuri, she's Flynn). It's gonna be nice.
freezingrayne: (Kaim)
So today I worked my last shift at Starbucks. I'll miss being a barista and (some of) the people I work with. I definitely won't miss the Starbucks-going public, or my psycho manager. That bitch is crazy. Hopefully, I'll be moving on to bigger and better things.

Also, it was my last day of classes for the semester. Just finals left to go...
freezingrayne: (Roxas)
My week has been improving steadily, thank goodness, since it was basically a shithole on Monday and then...something below a shithole on Tuesday, and for a little while I did nothing but stress out and feel like crying, but the last two days have been better. All I really did today was eat some delicious food and watch Merlin, and write some porn for the Tri-Ace Kink Meme. It should be up by the weekend.

Exams start next week, and I am feeling considerably calmer about that than I was a couple days ago. My last day of class is Tuesday, thank.

Off to sort-of study for my oral exam in Italian. Though that's sort of hard to study for.
freezingrayne: (Ezio)
I like my school, I really do. My professors have all been awesome and I've met some excellent people, and the courses I've taken have mostly been really cool and challenging. However, there are so many things about the College Park campus that just make me want to bang my head against the wall.

First off--it is so fucking big. And yes, I know, it has to be, since there are so many departments and students, but walking a mile from my parking lot to my first class at nine in the morning is annoying, and also FREEZING. Though I have lost some weight from it, which is always nice.
Also--as some people may be aware, Maryland apparently has a really excellent basketball team, and people come from all over to watch the games. This means that any student who parks in one of four parking lots has to move their car three hours before the game. Recenlty, that hour is smack dab in the fucking middle of my physics class. You are allowed to park in another lot, but not till 4 pm, which is when my class starts. So if the game starts at eight, I have to be out of lot 6 by five, meaning I have to leave class at around 4:35, which means I miss most of fucking class.
And to this I really say aslkdjfkl;adjsf;lkjsaf because this is a school, assholes, not a sport's club. And I know, I know, athletics are important to some people, but not to me, and aren't I paying just as much as everyone else is to be here?

Blur. Sorry about the blather.

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December 2011

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