time for real life?
Aug. 17th, 2010 09:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
freezingrayneBack from vacation!
First off, I want to apologize for being so much fail recently. I've been with an internet connection that wouldn’t let me check my email or upload anything (or make DW posts without refreshing the damn thing eight million times). I’ve also been highly stressed and worried about the moving to a new apartment that is about to take place.
Special thanks tocypher for picking up my slack where I fell down on the job with ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tales_100. I will strive to be more reliable in the future! *nods nods*
Some other stuff...
I’m moving into my apartment this week, slowly but surely, and thus have been shoveling things into boxes. This will be my first time living away from home (not including my brief stint in a dorm) and I’m sort of terrified.
But I’m also realizing that this means that I won’t have to be alone anymore. The fact that there will be people there, people I really, really care about, makes me so incredibly happy that I can barely express it. Even if they’re in the next room, having people around that I can talk to will probably keep some of my depression away. Here’s hoping.
My dad broke up with his long-term girlfriend of about nine years. She was sort of a combined mother/sister/friend figure to me, and it’s hitting me sort of harder than I expected it to. It’s like losing a member of my family—I’m really going to miss seeing her regularly, though I'm definitely going to try to make an effort.
Lately, I’ve been trying to do things to sort of…beat my anxiety. As in, rationalizing my way through it, not letting it make me obsess over stupid things. In particularly the part where I freak out whenever I think anyone might be mad at me, and apologize for things that aren’t my fault, just to avoid conflict.
So I’m gonna say this here, just so I knew it’s on the record: sometimes I’m angry with certain people, and sometimes they’re angry with me. This is not the end of the world. People get mad, they fight. Things can be fixed. A lot of the time I deserve it when people are irritated with me, and when I don’t, then I shouldn’t worry about it. I know I’m a good person and I’m trying my best, and I have to let that be enough, or I’ll drive myself insane.
Huh. Okay. Long post. Back to kink bingo!
First off, I want to apologize for being so much fail recently. I've been with an internet connection that wouldn’t let me check my email or upload anything (or make DW posts without refreshing the damn thing eight million times). I’ve also been highly stressed and worried about the moving to a new apartment that is about to take place.
Special thanks to
cypher for picking up my slack where I fell down on the job with tales_100. I will strive to be more reliable in the future! *nods nods*Some other stuff...
I’m moving into my apartment this week, slowly but surely, and thus have been shoveling things into boxes. This will be my first time living away from home (not including my brief stint in a dorm) and I’m sort of terrified.
But I’m also realizing that this means that I won’t have to be alone anymore. The fact that there will be people there, people I really, really care about, makes me so incredibly happy that I can barely express it. Even if they’re in the next room, having people around that I can talk to will probably keep some of my depression away. Here’s hoping.
My dad broke up with his long-term girlfriend of about nine years. She was sort of a combined mother/sister/friend figure to me, and it’s hitting me sort of harder than I expected it to. It’s like losing a member of my family—I’m really going to miss seeing her regularly, though I'm definitely going to try to make an effort.
Lately, I’ve been trying to do things to sort of…beat my anxiety. As in, rationalizing my way through it, not letting it make me obsess over stupid things. In particularly the part where I freak out whenever I think anyone might be mad at me, and apologize for things that aren’t my fault, just to avoid conflict.
So I’m gonna say this here, just so I knew it’s on the record: sometimes I’m angry with certain people, and sometimes they’re angry with me. This is not the end of the world. People get mad, they fight. Things can be fixed. A lot of the time I deserve it when people are irritated with me, and when I don’t, then I shouldn’t worry about it. I know I’m a good person and I’m trying my best, and I have to let that be enough, or I’ll drive myself insane.
Huh. Okay. Long post. Back to kink bingo!
no subject
Date: 2010-08-17 02:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-17 03:39 pm (UTC)Your Nice icon fills me with joy.